Giving Too Much? Taking Too Little?
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No doubt you have been touched by at least one of them at some point along your journey. They drain you, take from you, frustrate you and leave you feeling off-balance, tired, sometimes even violated, and they can incite you to get angry, not just at them of course, but angry with yourself for allowing yourself to be drawn into the control dramas, into the greed and selfishness that seems to linger around long after they’re gone.
They’re the users, the leechers, the “moochers”, the attention starved, the energy-thieves, the “poor me’s”, the drama-queens, the wanton victims, the selfish and the self-obsessed. They’re our friends, our family, our bosses, our coworkers, our peers and associates and clients… and sometimes, they’re our love interests.
At first the choice is simple; we want to help, gladly embrace the opportunity to give to another, because it’s who we are and who we want to choose to be. For women especially, we’re automatically given to the urge to give of ourselves, to nurture, to help heal, to support and to “feed” the world around us. Sooner or later however, if we have even just a little ability to feel the connection to our larger, “authentic” selves, regardless of gender, it becomes clear that the only help we’re truly providing is in supporting the perpetuation of relationships that are not only dangerous to the people we are enabling, but just as dangerous, if not moreso, to our own sacred peace of mind.
It’s true that sometimes the contrast can be very beneficial to us as human beings. Sometimes there can be precious gifts hidden underneath the darker folds of the relationship that can yield some of the most priceless and unforeseen opportunities for our own growth, self-definition, empowerment and evolution. Sometimes it’s just not that big of a deal; the situation may occur infrequently enough, or our personal attention may simply be focused sharply enough upon our own natural abundance and wellbeing, that it simply has barely an impact upon us in the grand scheme of things.
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What if you’re one of those people and want to stop but don’t even know how to begin?